Painfully Conscious

I like living in Philadelphia. It's not home quite in the way I think of DC as home, but it's comfortable. I don't know many people here, which can make it a bit lonely, but I don't know as many people in DC as I used to, and I don't miss most of them.

I'm a loner and I'm gregarious. I'm a type A personality. It's a terrible combination. I want to go out and be around people, but without really having to interact with them; I want to sit and work on my computer, usually, which I could do just as well at home, but that's to solitary. Unfortunately, this limits the kinds of places in which I want to spend time.

Sometimes a coffee shop works, but they are usually small, can be very crowded, and they tend only to serve, as the name suggests, coffee drinks and bad tea. That's fine during the day, assuming I can get a seat, but in the evenings a civilized drink or glass of wine is what I prefer. Of course, even during the day there is only so much coffee I want to drink.

Bars, especially gay bars, are out of the question. Standing around with a bunch of friends is one thing, but going alone is painful. Even when I was single, I would go, drink something rather quickly, and move on. No matter the kind of bar, just standing, looking at the people, with nothing else to occupy the time, was too much. Now that I'm in a relationship, well, it would just be inappropriate to go to a gay bar. There is really only one reason a gay man goes alone to a bar: to meet someone. No, going unchaperoned is out. And the straight bars are just as boring from my perspective.

What I need, and enjoy, are lounges. I don't mean those charming places in airports, but the kind found in better hotels, where drinks, coffee, and some food are served. Some hotels may call them lobby bars or something else, but with their tables, comfortable chairs, and more open spaces, they are the epitome of the term, and encourage one to relax and soak in the ambiance. They are great for people watching, but from a comfortable distance.

I'm writing this in one of my favorite lobby bars, the one in The (one must capitalize the “T”) Ritz-Carlton Philadelphia. I often come here during the week, just to get out of the house for a couple hours. Yes, the wine is overpriced, but the space is comfortable and attractive. I can sit here with my laptop and busy myself while keeping any eye on the activities of the other patrons. Sometimes, especially on weekends, it can be difficult to get a seat: wedding parties and gangs of tourists filling the space. It can annoy me when they occupy the seats and tables without actually buying anything, but then I remind myself that this is a hotel lobby and that is to be expected.

Other places I like in Philadelphia are the Bourse bar at the Sofitel and the lounge at the Four Seasons. The Bourse is much smaller and is more likely to have no tables available, especially during happy hour. I don't go there as often for that reason. The Four Seasons is a bit further from the neighborhood I tend to haunt, and often slips my mind as an option. It doesn't help that I'm not as familiar with the more reasonably priced parking options by it. I really need to investigate a bit and mix up my scenery more.

I'm not as familiar with the lobby bars in Washington because one of my favorite lounges there is actually a wonderful mix of coffee house and bar called Tryst. Definitely more downscale than the hotels I've mentioned, with its second-hand sofas and armchairs, beaten-up tables, and local art on the walls, it is a wonderful place. During the week they provide free wifi (not on weekends to reduce squatting), and they have enough of a menu to sate ones hunger pains. It's perfect that one can alternate between coffee and adult beverages, neither of which is lacking in quality. I miss Tryst when I'm in Philadelphia.